Andrew Reiner’s work on healthy 男子气概 converges with hit TV show and sports 文化


Like the 支持ing characters in his show, “Ted Lasso” came into bet356手机版 lecturer Andrew 莱纳的生命来得正是时候.

During the last two years, Apple TV’s feel-good comedy series has won the hearts of 观众和艾美奖. 书中的角色是一名美国大学橄榄球教练,他动了 去英国接管一支中等职业足球队,里士满. 在 surface, the show is a fish-out-of-water story about a coach who wins over the clubhouse 还有他的魅力. 然而,随着剧情的发展,这部剧正在挖掘更多的东西 导师,男子气概,粉丝,友谊和斗争的话题 毒性.

雷纳教授研讨会“男子气概的变化” 荣誉学院. 他为《bet356手机版》杂志写了一篇文章 正常化的男人哭了 and many pieces in “The New York Times” about the need for healthier forms of 男子气概, 包括病毒式的 教男人保持情感健康.

雷纳的第一本书,更好的男孩,更好的男人,” (HarperOne) was published in late 2020 and argued that American men are working with an outdated model of 男子气概 that ultimately has a negative effect on everyone.  Like his Washington Post and New York Times articles, "更好的男孩,更好的男人" calls 和泰德·拉索(Ted Lasso)作为教练所做的一样:情感弹性.  


Reiner说,“每次我看这个节目,我在脑海中对自己说,‘是的, 在没有效率的男性行为上打勾. 把这个划掉 健康男性的行为.’”

美国的体育迷们距离超级碗大赛只有几天的时间了 辛辛那提猛虎队和洛杉矶公羊队的比赛. 遗产和大 金钱合同通常以超级碗的胜利来确定. 表现的压力 at a high level in front of nearly 100 million people watching on television is enormous.

The themes of “Ted Lasso” feel even more prescient in a Super Bowl week such as this. Here, Reiner answers questions about what lessons can be learned from the show and 如果这个角色能在真实的职业体育世界中工作.


The question I keep asking myself is “Where in ‘Ted Lasso’ do I not see my work intersecting 用节目的主题和潜台词?”

In one of the early scenes in the first episode, Lasso is doing his first press conference. Right out of the gates, I saw alignment with what my book and work is about with healthy 男子气概. 没有故作姿态,没有伪装,没有试图表现得“正确” 掌控局面,就像很多教练一样. 他倾向于健康的男子气概 with smiles, honesty and owning his lack of experience and knowledge around soccer. 


I think many women are responding to it because they're thinking to themselves, “Finally, you guys are seeing the value in being 支持ive of each other—simply by more active listening, not trying to solve each other's every problem, showing empathy to each 其他人的挣扎,带着情感支持出现.”

I think a lot of men are seeing this and thinking, “Man, how great would it be to not have to always turn to female friends, girlfriends, partners or wives for this? 能从我的哥们那里得到这个该多好啊?“我认为观众会产生共鸣 to the transformative possibility of guys learning how to 支持 each other in ways 这通常是被禁止的. 


Why does something like The Diamond Dogs, men sharing emotions and experiences, feel 这在流行文化中是很新奇的?

Men showing up for each other as the Diamond Dogs do are so compelling to male viewers 因为这打破了男人之间相互支持和联系的模式. 结束, 在我的书和文章研究中,我听过各个年龄段的男性谈论 男人在一起时的期望. 他们的期望是你通常不会带 up anything that's bothering you; you save that for one-on-one time with a friend. If you do bring up something that's bothering you, expect to be met with advice or problem-solving at best, rejection (think: laughing, sarcasm, putting the guy down) 在最坏的情况下. 这就是为什么大多数男人的伙伴群体会削弱一种深层的信任感. They find that deeper trust—emotional trust—in safer spaces with the females in their 生活.

I think a lot of male viewers watch the Diamond Dogs and think, “Man, how great would it be to go to my buddies with something that's upsetting me or getting me down and to be met with empathy, compassion, commiseration, bearing witness to my suffering?

There’s also a recurring theme of men and women becoming better versions of themselves, 更好的人. 泰德·拉索这个角色是什么让这一切开始的呢?

Ted brings out the deeper, better selves in people because he has the gold standard 他DNA里的领导价值观. 他知道这是最好的方式 of people is to lead by example: being a great listener, always being curious, never shaming or judging, leading with empathy, finding the silver lining in a situation 场内场外,等等. 他实践和模仿这些价值观,并进行创造 the safe space for everyone around him to practice these behaviors without telling 让他们这么做. 这是你授权人们使用和实践这些领导能力的方式 值. 这些都来自于传奇的大学篮球教练的剧本 约翰·伍登的成功金字塔(就在拉索的办公室里.)


Obviously, real and fictionalized sports are two different environments, but do you think a Ted Lasso-model of coaching/mentoring could work in the competitive world 体育?

I don't think his reflexive kindness, courteousness and assertive humility would work 在高度竞争的体育文化中. 他永远不会有机会 任何层面都要说明为什么这个品牌的领导力是一种优势. 

I do think, however, that many of the 值 he embraces and models are 值 that 能转化为高度竞争吗. 毕竟,这是一套技能 由先锋企业管理和领导教练和大师推动. We see a few examples of this brand of leadership in the legacy of Wooden, who is still lauded by many management and leadership gurus; UVA basketball coach Tony Bennett; 以及前老鹰队教练道格·彼得森等人.  

Ted Lasso often seems to struggle with the meaning of wins and losses and the existence 的关系. 你觉得这代表着bet356手机版的文化吗?

Many viewers love Lasso and his leadership style, but they think it's fantasy because the reality in our hyper-competitive 文化 is that if you aren't scoring victories, 那你就失业了. 你是一个失败者. 这种思潮的问题在于 us farther and farther away from having the time and space to shift the paradigm to 一个能带来长期成功的人. 泰德·拉索报道. 他理解这种需求 for a more sustainable and humane leadership style that effects deep, lasting change 不管是在场上还是场外. 他的领导风格更为全面和深远. This is what the best coaches (and leaders) understand: Our victories may not always 立即明显. 有时它们会在数年后出现在bet356手机版的运动员身上 成为更好的员工,更好的父亲、伴侣或丈夫,更好的老师 或者教练,更好的公民. 有时教练最大的胜利发生在很久之后 游戏结束了.  

The character Sam Obisanya is a great example of Lasso's cutting-edge leadership style 达到有利可图.

If Ted Lasso were coaching the Bengals or Rams this week, what message would he convey 比赛前给两队的?

Two things I think he'd want to say to both teams: Be a goldfish (it's one of his 成为迷因的咒语). 从暂时的挫折或感觉的失败中走出来 迎接下一个挑战. 研究表明,羞辱球员和贬低自己 因为错误是适得其反的. 

我想他会给输球的球队一些额外的有用的建议. 我的一个 最喜欢的剧集是UFC里士满输掉了一场势单力敌的比赛,这意味着它将是 下个赛季被降级到低级别联赛. 在更衣室里,拉索 says something I think ALL coaches should discuss with their athletes—their 悲伤的ness. 在那一刻,他公开讨论并将每个人的悲伤常态化,然后结束 by saying, “There’s something worse than being 悲伤的…and that is being alone and being 悲伤的. 这个房间里没有人是单独的.”

这其中有很多对男性和男性运动员来说非常重要的东西. 这是 把悲伤常态化——这在体育运动中是无处不在的——并告诉那些家伙们,这很好 they are sharing this together; they're commiserating and giving each other emotional 支持. 他们得到了教练的许可. 

每一个 输了一场比赛的运动员需要听到这个消息!

有兴趣与bet356手机版教师专家交谈的媒体可以联系马特·帕尔默 .